You Can't Help Who You Love Read online

  My phone started ringing and seeing that it was Toya, I sent her ass straight to talk to the white woman on my line. I didn’t have time for this bitch. I thought about what Halee said about fucking me to sleep and I visualized the shit. I bet her second set of lips were so pretty and pink. I never been with a white girl, but if she was serious, all that was due to change. I sat up in my bed and shot her a text. I was convinced she wasn’t going to respond, but when she did, it surprised the fuck outta me. All that night we texted, talking about everything. I couldn’t lie, I was feeling her and I let her know that too. She admitted that she was, but the shit Toya pulled caused her to fall back a little bit and I couldn’t say I blamed her.

  I ended up drifting off to sleep while texting her. She was on my brain so much that I woke up all in the middle of the night and shit to see if she texted back. When I saw that she didn’t, I went back to bed myself. Something about lil momma, I can’t put my finger on.

  Miracle

  I woke up to the sound of my father yelling. I jumped up and sped down the hall; he was on the phone barking out orders to someone. I shook my head at him, after standing up on my tip toes to give him a cheek kiss. I let him handle his business before I headed back in my room. I was thinking of a style I wanted to get my hair when my phone chimed. It was a text message from Dallas. I smiled at the thought of him. We had been talking daily and I could honestly see myself dealing with him on a daily basis. But, of course, we would have to go through my three men first, which was ok. If he worked for them, then they trusted him without a doubt. So, I knew they would be ok with my decision if I decided to take it there, or so I thought. He sent me a text, asking if I wanted to go to the zoo. I giggled and thought it was cute. I didn’t mind. He told me to dress comfy and that’s what I was going to do. I went into my closet and pulled out a green and orange PINK sweat suit with my brand new Air Force one’s Carter had brought me. Yeah, I love me some PINK. That’s all that hung in my closet. I’m lying but I’m sure y’all get the picture now. After I threw my versatile sew-in into a decent ponytail, I headed to my car to meet Dallas. He insisted on picking me up, but shit, I wasn’t ready for that just yet. I wasn’t ready for the hundreds of questions just yet; I would deal with that with things got more serious.

  Once I pulled up to the zoo, I saw him standing outside waiting on me. He was dressed from head to toe in a Polo outfit with some J’s on. I slid out of my car and walked over to give him a hug. The Polo Red cologne he was wearing had me weak in the knees. “Hey you,” I greeted him. He responded by placing a peck on my cheek. We headed into the zoo and I must admit, I was really enjoying his company. We took all kinds of pictures with every animal we came in contact with. He grabbed me, pulling me into him.

  “You got all these niggas breaking their necks looking at you; don’t make me act a clown out this bih,” he said, smirking at me.

  “I wouldn’t mind if you were my man, but since you’re NOT, then you CAN’T,” I said, playfully punching him. Though I was laughing, this man was breaking me down. He smelled so good; I just wanted to sniff him. I giggled at myself in my head and grabbed his hand. The feeling I got hanging with him was indescribable.

  After we played one another out, we got back in our cars and I followed him. I was giddy as hell when we pulled into McDonald’s parking lot. I was slick happy because I loved me a twenty piece McNugget with like 5 packets of ranch. Shit, we didn’t need to go all out everywhere when having something so simple like this made me happy. After we grabbed our food, I followed him back to the condo Halee and I came to with him and Quis. I was happy, but nervous at the same time because I didn’t know if I could control myself around this man.

  We walked in, but this time, we went to his room. I was glad he was a game freak like myself because he had a PS4 also in his room. After we stuffed our faces, we hopped on the game. “Ah, I see you’ve been putting some work in since I’ve been gone!” I told him.

  “Nah, I was just letting your little ass win,” he told me back while laughing.

  “Boy stop!” I replied, mushing his head. He got up and popped a DVD in the DVD player. We were watching some scary movie called ‘The Visit’ and bitch, when I tell you it was scary as hell, it was. These old ass people murked some kids’ grandparents and posed at them. The fuckin’ grandma was tweaking. She scared the hell out of me when she was under that porch, but not as much as she did when she found the camera they placed to watch her and how she acted. I was a scary movie fan, so I enjoyed it. Plus, me being scared gave me the push I needed to be wrapped in his arms and man, it felt good as hell. Before I knew it, I was in his lap kissing his ass. His lips were softer than the bottom of a newborn baby’s foot. I could get used to this. We continued, not missing a beat. I found myself sliding down his 10-inch pole and it was giving me life! I rode his dick like I was at the fuckin’ rodeo.

  “Oh my God Dallyyyyyyy, baby!” I couldn’t help myself as I started screaming out.

  “Fuuuuuuuck M, this pussy good!” je moaned out behind me. “You better not give this pussy away, or we gone have some fuckin’ problems,” he said. I was supposed to be riding him, but he was holding me in place, banging into me.

  “Fuckkkkk, I’m about to cum!” I couldn’t control myself as I creamed all on his penis, causing it to seep between his buttocks. “Stand over me and drop it in my mouth Dally,” I panted. He did what I said, and once I felt the tip of his dick reach the middle of my throat, I started humming a lullaby, all while working my jaw movements.

  “What the ff…?” he groaned out. We reversed and flipped into the sixty-nine position. All you could hear in the room was our moans, grunts, and the wetness that our mouths were providing. I got on my knees and arched my back, waiting on him to penetrate me from behind. And when he did, I couldn’t handle it. “Nah, you a big girl, right? Take this dick, take all of daddy dick M,” he told me, pounding my back out. He started speeding up faster and I took that as the initiative to hop up. I suck, jacked, slurped, and licked until I felt all of his kids sling down my hand. “What the fuck just happened?” he asked me. I smirked at him and headed to get a washcloth to clean us both up. “All I want to know is where the fuck you learned that shit from?!” he asked me. I said nothing as I snuggled underneath him. We laid there caressing one another until we fell asleep.

  *****

  I heard someone walking throughout the house, and it caused me to jump up. I couldn’t help that it was the lifestyle my family led that had me on edge. I grabbed my baby nine out of my bag and crept out of the room. I could see the back of them, but not the front. I calmly walked behind whoever this amateur was. “Move and I will blow ya wig back!” I barked.

  “WHAT THE FUCK?!” I noticed the voice belonged to Q. He spun around and stared at me. “Yo, Dallas, come get ya girl bro. She had a fuckin gun pointed at me!” he yelled. Embarrassment filled my face.

  “I’m sorry Marquis. I thought you were….” I felt like shit. “I’m sorry!” I told him.

  “Nah, I respect ya G. Yo, you wild. Just like ya brothers. I dig it,” he told me while smirking. Dallas walked in the room and didn’t say a word. Instead, he smiled at me, causing me to smile right back.

  “Sorry y’all, I just have to be prepared at all times,” I told them. I turned around and hugged Dallas, then kissed him. “Ok, I’m out boo,” I told him, before I went to grab my belongings. I felt stupid as hell, but shit, if in my position, anyone else would’ve done the same. He walked me to my car and gave me kisses before sending me on my way. Despite what just happened, I drove home with all smiles. Who knows? Maybe this could grow to be something.

  *****

  I woke up feeling good. I got up and headed to the shower, so I could prepare for church. My dad made sure we all go faithfully, including him. Yes, he is in the drug game, but we made it to church every Sunday, not every other Sunday, but every Sunday. When I stepped back in my room, Halee was sitting on my bed. “Soooo?” she asked me.


  I laughed. “So what?”

  “Girl, I didn’t hear from you at all yesterday, so what happened?” she asked, eyeing me. It was crazy how she knew me so well; it was like she was my sister, instead of best friend.

  “Well, Dally and I-”

  “DALLY?! You giving him nicknames now, oh yea, y’all done did the nasty! Tell me how it was!” she screamed at me, jumping up and down.

  “Yes, but-”

  “Oh My God! Y’all are dating?!” She wouldn’t give me a chance to say anything.

  I giggled and continued getting ready before answering her. “Yes, we did the ‘nasty’ and no, I don’t think we are dating. I think right now we are just going to take it slow a little bit,” I said, summing it up the best I could.

  “What the fuck? YOU gave up the goodies without being in a relationship?” she continued questioning me. I know she was thinking about my ex and that’s a thought I wasn’t trying to think of. It was in the beginning of high school and y’all know those relationships are meaningless. Though he took my virginity, it was something I just wanted to forget. Hell, I wished it never happened.

  “Right now, we’re just vibing. Whatever is meant to happen, will. I’m not rushing anything just yet,” I said, ending the convo. I grabbed my clutch and we headed downstairs to go to church with my father and brothers.

  *****

  Though it felt like we were there forever, the lesson our pastor preached about today was everything to me. Soon as I got home, I stripped out of my clothes. I laid across my bed and checked my phone. Dallas’ ass hasn’t texted me yet and that shit had me wanting to think some crazy shit. I shook it off and got up to go do some retail therapy. It always took my mind off of things. When I left, I had over six bags in my hands. I threw everything in the trunk and headed home. My mind constantly wandered to Dallas; I wanted to know what he was doing that he couldn’t hit me up. Since we met, we talked constantly and now that sex was involved, I didn’t hear from his ass at all. That shit could only mean one thing.

  Dallas

  Miracle’s little ass was bound to fuck my head up. I had to take a step back to gather myself. I like her because she was like the female me. Instead of bitching at me about the game, lil mama joined me. We talked about some of everything. I was feeling that. I liked her, more than I cared to admit, honestly. But, there were two things stopping me from pursing her. One was that I worked for her father and I know neither he or her brothers would play about her. Before it came to gun play, I would avoid that. Another was I couldn’t let a bitch get to me. Last time I was in a relationship, the lil bitch was fucking the whole hood. Everyone knew, except me. She didn’t have any morals, goals, or respect for herself and that was one thing I hated about her ass. Instead of getting out and chasing her own sack, she opted for spending mine instead. I had no problem spoiling my bitch, but shit, when yo bitch wanted to lay on her ass, club, do anything possible for attention, and spend your hard earned money instead of making shit happen for self, it became a problem for me. I worked too damn hard to see all my money going to a lil petty hood rat type of shit.

  I liked Miracle because she was down to earth and true to herself. Not only that, but baby girl was doing good for herself. She told me how she wanted to go to school to become a neonatal nurse and I commended her because ain’t no way I could sit back and watch a bitch pussy bust from A to Z and be cool with it. I was lying in my bed, doing nothing but thinking about her, and the shit had me in my feelings. I wanted to avoid that, so I got up and hit the block.

  When I pulled up to the trap, I saw Quis’ car out there. That’s why I haven’t heard from his ass. When I walked in, everyone was giving me dap and hugs. This one bitch who I was just talking about, who was hoe, the one with no morals, yeah her. She worked here as well, cooking and bagging the dope. Her name was Danielle. “Hey boo,” she whispered in my ear before caressing my back. I pushed her off me because she knew it wasn’t none of that. Not right now at least. I took a seat with the fellas and joined in on the talk. They were talking about hood hoes who had not shit going for themselves. I leaned back in my seat and just listened. I wasn’t one to talk like that, so it didn’t seem abnormal. When I did say something, you better believe it was something worth hearing.

  One thing caught my ear and that was talk about Miracle. “Man, that little suck up bitch ain’t shit. I pushed up on her one day and she shrugged me off like she was Obama daughter or some shit,” this one lil nigga said. I wasn’t feeling that shit. Though she wasn’t my bitch, I wasn’t going to stand by and let these niggas dog her out like they didn’t work for her pops.

  “Yo, shut that shit up. Sounding like a scorned ass bitch. How you diss the one female whose dad makes sure yo kids eat?” I barked at his ass. Everyone stopped what they were doing and listened in on what was to happen next.

  “Dallas man, I’m just being honest. It wasn’t disrespect to boss man, I’m just saying-”

  I put my hand up to silence his ass because I didn’t need no bitch ass excuse. I headed in the back to make sure shit was straight before I dipped out. I didn’t need Justin and Carter running down on me about why shit ain’t right. Quis walked in the room smirking. “Let me find out lil sis got ya head fucked up big bro!” he said, dapping me up. Though he was my blood brother, I didn’t really feel the need to discuss my feelings to the next nigga. The way I saw shit, what was my business was MINE, not the next muthafucka. Brother or not, I done seen siblings fold on one another or go behind the next man for his bitch, so I didn’t say shit as I smirked.

  “I feel ya,” he said, catching my drift. Everybody knew how I rolled, shit wasn’t no secret. After making sure shit was straight, I dapped everyone up before making my exit. Heading outside, I bumped into Justin and Carter.

  “What’s up my niggas?” I said, as I dapped them up.

  “Ain’t shit, y’all making sure shit straight?” Justin asked me.

  “Hell yeah, I just came through to do a lil pop up. I’m heading out to handle some shit right back, so I left Marquis in charge,” I told them.

  “Aight, handle that and be safe bruh, hate to have to run down on some muthafuckas!” Carter said, dapping me up. This nigga was the hothead from hell; he stayed ready to either run them hands or do some gunplay. I saluted those niggas; they fucked with me and I fucked with them. I contemplated on running shit by them about Miracle and I, but for now, I would just

  let the shit play out.

  “Yo baby bro, we having a lil cookout at the house Friday; y’all boys slide through. Know the team gone be in that bitch full effect,” Justin told me. I nodded my head at them, then walked off. I didn’t think I was ready to be around Miracle like that just yet. I know I probably sound like a bitch, but shawty had me fucked up and she ain’t even know it.

  Before I could pull off good, Danielle’s trifling ass came running out the house like a chicken with her head cut off. “What’s yo plan for tonight Daddy, oh, I mean Dallas?” she asked me, smirking.

  I smirked right back at her ass. “Ain’t shit, what’s up, what you got planned ma?” I asked her. I knew she wanted to lick on the stick and shit; who was I to stop her?

  “You,” she simply said, while batting her long ass fake eyelashes.

  “Aight, say less. Slide through round eight then,” I said, putting my car in reverse and not giving her any time to respond. Shit, she was a hoe who had no respect for herself. So hell, I didn’t have none for that ass either. Hoes get no respect in my eyes.

  Halee

  I was at home, cleaning up and twerking my ass all over the fucking place. I bet y’all like ‘White girl can dance?’ Well HELL yea, my lil ass can dance. Put some of y’all black girls to shame too. But anyways, I was waiting on Marquis’ ass to slide through. He wanted to come chill and I wasn’t going to turn his ass down. Both of my parents were at work, like always. They were never here and after the talk we just had the other day, I had no other choice but to deal with the shit. After I c
leaned up, I went and took a nice shower. Just in case we take it to the next level with shit, I had to be prepared.

  I was listening to Tony Braxton, singing along with her. Lol! I bet y’all like what the fuck, white girl be on it. Well yeah, I do actually. Shit, I get this shit from Miracle. After I got out of the shower, I headed in my closet and tried finding something cute to wear, not trying to look like I did it on purpose. Well, just something to catch his attention. After I did that, I straightened my jet black hair and did my make-up. I was cute, nonetheless. I didn’t need half of the shit that I had. I could rock a face with no make-up and some around the house clothes and probably be able to take y’alls man.

  Ha! But yeah, anyways, after I did all that, I lit a blunt of loud and heard the doorbell ringing. I knew it wasn’t nobody but Marquis, so I skipped downstairs to open the door. I swung it open and there he stood, looking like he belonged on the front of a fucking magazine and shit. I blushed at his ass before passing him the blunt. I led him back upstairs to my room, which looked like a mini apartment.

  “Damn, this shit is laid out,” he said, looking around at my room. He didn’t have to tell me what I already knew. I was conceited as fuck; I knew I was the shit and couldn’t a bitch alive bring me off my square. Fuck that. My self-esteem higher than someone’s mother’s rent. I decided that we would watch some movies. He was straight with that, so I popped in Love and Basketball. It was my favorite movie of all times.

  “What yo ass know about that?” he asked me, cocking his head.

  “Niggaaaaaa, I know all about this shit. I loved their relationship. It was so cute. He did some fucked up shit, but who doesn’t?” I asked him, shrugging my shoulders. Right when we snuggled up, my doorbell started ringing like crazy. I don’t have nobody coming here, my parents have a key, and I know damn well that Miracle’s ass ain’t ringing it like that, so I glared at him before stomping my foot in a pair on Timbs. I skipped downstairs two at a time because I know whoever it was on the outside of the door wanted some problems, and I was going to give their asses exactly that.